Why do I eat pop tarts every morning?
Bad, bad, bad.
But you want to hear something GOOD?
K, so last night was pretty much my first time getting buzzed since last friday when the party.cutting.drinking.blazing.sex with hector happened and surprisingly enough, I did not call him. Or text. Or myspace. Or anything. Even after getting a tiny urge to because barb was talking to ian.
So yes, jens a strong one. I'm growing up. I realized that even if his being there brings me some sort of (unhealthy) comfort, I'm much happier in the long-run without him.
That's just the way it is.

so i'm making really good money these days and that pretty much makes me very happy.
i don't know WHERE the hell all of it goes though... i think i spend WAY to much money on eating out.
speaking of which- my goodness! i have such a huge eating disorder, it's not even funny.
SERIOUSLY.
i've been laying out all week and now i'm pitch black.. i don't think i like it.
i keep trying to quit AE but they won't let me!

so today was my first day of work at the new place.
basically, i've found myself the tightest job! i'm happy. ;]
not so happy about the fact that i can't get myself to stop eating though.
i'm gaining weight, i can tell. =/
and i'm pretty sure it's caused by the lack of attention i've been getting from boys.
goshhh, how lame am i??
and today that boy teman (who i've been talking to on and off for about a year) texted me, asking if i'd be his girlfriend (after like an entire week of him hardly paying ANY attention to me) and i was like, HMM.. MYABE THAT WOULD HELP ME LOOSE SOME WEIGHT...
AHHHH, so lame. so lame...
i want to go to MAC! i need to start buying lots of makeup to cover my ugly fat face! ♥

thank the LORD and sing his PRAISE!!! ♥
i went out with ash tonight and she was like "my tummy hurts, i don't want to pierce it tonight!"
so we went and had coffee instead then went over to some guy's house where there were a bunch of kids just hanging out and stuff... it was pretty fun i guess. i don't usually hang out with kids all that much so it was refreshing.
anyway, while we were there ash was like, "i don't think i wanna get my belly done anymore. i'm too scared..." and i was like, "oh, are you SURE ash??"- trying to sound all bummed and she was like, "yea, i want to wait a while..."
omg, YESSSSSS!! best news of my entire LIFE!! that was seriously going to put the biggest hole in my pocket. you don't understand.. so now i'll just use my vs gift card and buy her some pj's or something.. HA. ;]
i'm horrible!

so i had an interview this morning and...
starting monday i'll be making $10 an hour at an after school place for middle schoolers!! =] it's like 3 hours a day so i can still work at ae in the mornings. i'm super excited!!!

oh.. and i got into a fight with my mom this morning and now i have to ask her if i can borrow $150 for that piercing thing with ash. FABULOUS. cannot wait to hear her response!

i smell like club boy and i'm trying to work up the energy to wash it OFF of me...

i think i'm done with clubbing. for a while at least. it just was NOT fun tonight. i would have rather been doing something else. like... i don't know. i need to find a new hobby, that's for sure.

so it's my best friend ashley's birthday and i paid for her to get into the club, plus vip parking, plus i have to go pay for her and i to get our bellies pierced on monday. swwwwweet. i cannot wait to be DIRT poor.

no shopping for me.
YAY. ;-/

so yeah.. i have decided that i really like the fact that i'm single.
i'm done wanting a boyfriend. there's no need for one right now.
i'm just happy being ME.
i don't know WHY, but i am.

ummm, yea. this feels very healthy.

so i'm feeling much better today.
no more throwing up.
i can get back to eating salads now.
HA. ;]
i worked today.
i won't be working for the REST OF THE WEEK THOUGH.
wtf??
i'm going to have to look for a second job tomorrow.
i'm definitely thinking i want to serve coffee.
exciting.

so basically, i had my first bar experience last night.
i went with a buch of girls from work and it was waaaay fun.
i did karaoke, too!
it was awesome.
but now i feel like complete shit.
annnnnd i had to call off work because i can't stop throwing up.
i look really thin though, which is a good thing i guess.
i'd rather be fat and feeling normal though.
so yeah, basically me going out last night cost me about $80 since i spent so much money on drinks and since i'm not making any money today.
that's great.
just AWESOME.
oh, and i drove home completely drunk.
then laid on my neighbors lawn when i got out of my car.

so, ashley came down from burbank this weekend and her and i went clubbing.
omg, i had SOOOOO much fun. i really, seriously did.
hanging with her really made me miss the days of her and i being best friends. it seems like before she went to college, i always had someone to go out with, no matter what.. and now it's a different story. i have very few options. it really sucks.
anyway, i was in a not so good mood last week- crying for the lamest reasons EVER and such, but now i'm much better.
dancing is food for my soul. ♥
i've been getting hardly ANY hours at AE. this next paycheck is going to be PATHETIC. and with that being said-- I NEED TO GET A SECOND JOB QUICK!!
i just don't know where yet.